Want to Increase Testosterone? Get ENEMIES.

Most people seeking Manhood RUN AWAY from one of the best ways to grow it; something that’s staring them in the face.  Their enemies.

It’s a common story.  Wuss wants to be a Man.  Wuss reads blogs and books, asks for help, then looks to grow his Manhood away from criticism and those who could pour salt on this newly blossoming flower.

Except that your Manhood isn’t a flower, boy.  And your enemies aren’t salt.  Your Manhood is a hot steel rod, and your critics are the water you use to cool and harden it.  Don’t be an idiot and run away from what you need.

Testosterone makes you hard-muscled and strong for a reason.  So you can take risks, those hard risks that the girls and boymen of the tribe can’t handle.  So you can go on the hunt, and take down the woolly mammoth when you need to, without cowering in fear.  So you can scream your throat raw and defend against the sabre-tooth, without turning to flee, and leaving the tribe without its strongest defense.

But this drug, this testosterone, means one more thing, it means you’ll puff up your chest and challenge the other Men of the tribe.  It’ll make you territorial, and jealous, and possibly angry.  And the thing about that kind of competitiveness, it feeds into itself.

You get competitive, you think about your critics, your enemies, those who don’t believe in you, those who want you to fail, and you stand up for an instant in your mind against that.  You say:  NO, NOT TODAY, TODAY I WIN, and guess what happens?

That’s right, a boost of testosterone.  A boost of Manhood.  A boost of being what you were born to be.  And you get more competitive.  And the cycle repeats.

Don’t run away from your enemies.  Embrace them.  Don’t run away from the sabre-tooth, revel in the battle.

You need this.  You need to

Just be a Man.

Bragging or Boasting Will Only KILL Your Manhood, Not ENHANCE It

Sack up and stop being a whiny braggart.  If you have to shout or boast or brag about what a Man you are, or slyly drop hints all the time about it, then you’re probably a little overcompensating boyman at heart.

This is just the beginning of this topic and if have any element of Manhood at all then you’ll probably get it instantly or already know it.  If you try to cover for your shrunken testicles by boasting, then you’re just overcompensating.  Don’t waste your time because everyone sees through it.

I sat across from some little boy, who happened to be in his mid-to-late thirties by circumstance, and he was boasting about something he’d done.  I told him, matter of factly, that what he’d done was a complete asshole move.  He responded instantly, “I’m a predator!  I don’t care if I’m an asshole.  I say more power to me.  The strongest wins out.  The predator eats the little beasts.  I’m ok with that.”

Or some such drivel…

Five minutes later he was trying to convince me how the situation was different, not as bad as he’d first explained it to me.  “You’re not ok with being an asshole,” I said.  He kept whining that he was fine with it, but the truth was pretty obvious.  Actually, the truth had been obvious for a while.

Being an asshole isn’t being a Man, but the point is that he felt he needed to accentuate his Manhood, and that bragging would somehow do this.  People often believe this crap.  They think that Manhood is only in the bold and the brash and what people see.  They think being an asshole is Manhood.  They think that playing pretend that they are Men is somehow better than a little girl playing pretend that she’s a grown women.

It.  Doesn’t. Work.  Manhood doesn’t need everyone to know it’s there.  It’s strength of purpose, defying all challenges, and it’s achieving that purpose that matters, not making sure that everyone goes deaf from hearing about your achievements all day.  It has nothing to do with what people see or believe.

This is so important I’m going to write it again.  Manhood has nothing to do with what people see or what people believe.

And trying to make them believe or think something is like chopping one of your balls off.  It gets deep to the heart of your Manhood and rots it.  It stifles the growth of the most important part of your Manhood, the part that ignores challenge, ignores criticism, ignores obstacles.  Playing pretend panders to non-existent obstacles, it acknowledges and creates them, and all of a sudden you’re NOT defying challenges, you’re CREATING them where they don’t exist.  In the minds of others.  So instead of ignoring challenges to reach your purpose, you’re letting yourself get tripped up in a childish fiction that goes on only in your own boyman little head.  The progress of your Manhood just came to a screeching halt.

Some of the most powerful parts of Manhood are barely seen or heard.  You’ll see the waves they make, but you won’t see them enter the water.  You’ll see Manhood like this in what people take for granted, what they assume, what they don’t do.  But I’ll get to that in other articles, until then…

Just Be A Man

Manhood Won’t Give You Cheap Pleasures

It’s really kind of annoying.  Hearing kids pine after the experience of Manhood, without realizing that Manhood will not gratify them like they want.  It’s not an orgasm.  It’s not paradise.  It’s not Buddha meditating on a hilltop.  It’s a tough job that somebody’s gotta do.

What Men get from Manhood isn’t complex or subtle.  It’s the satisfaction of doing the needful, moving to a great Purpose, achieving what is required.  Manhood won’t  satisfy you with an incredible emotional pleasure spike, won’t make you laugh or squeal or gush like a child, in fact, most things will be trivialized when set next to your Purpose.  You’ll lie bloody on the field, but in victory, and the rush you get will be that of a champion, but you’re a Man, so it won’t last.

You’re not going to sit on that field, on a pile of laurels, celebrating like a newborn getting a breast to suck on.  You’re not going to do that because you’ll have become a Man, and your life will be about moving FORWARD, not sitting down, to GREAT PURPOSE, not to your own pleasure, and against OBSTACLES, and that’s the rub.  Without the obstacles, your Manhood will remain unused, and you won’t be able to stand that.  The Formula One car is meant to be driven, and it doesn’t “sit” well in a museum celebrating past glories.

There will be a thrill.  There’s no doubt there.  But it’ll be thrill of every moment on your purpose, it’ll be the rushing in your ears, the blood pounding in your head, the primal scream building in your lungs.  It will feel REAL, it will feel STRONG, it will feel RAW, and you will be satisfied.  But you won’t be pleasured.  Forget about that.

Are you really ready for this son?  Sure, Manhood isn’t all there is to your life, you’re probably going to be moved, to keep being moved by other crap in your life, you’ll still have time for celebration and pleasure, but your purpose will dominate and the trivial colors of the rest of your life, the rest will fade greyer in comparison.  It’s a huge trade-off, and if you’re hell bent on trivial crap like roses, chocolate and orgasms, then it’s a Sacrifice.

Are you really ready for this son?

Make your choice.  You don’t have to make your life all about Manhood, you don’t have to be the epitomy of Manhood, hell you don’t even have to be half a Man, you’re just meant to be.  Figure it out, do you really want to…

Just Be a Man.

How Your SMILE Betrays your Inner WUSS

“Smile as much as possible,” they say, “life is beautiful!”

But few things piss me off as much as the moronic opinion, often expressed, that we should pretend we live in a monochromatic fairy-tale world where everything is pink and happiness and goodness.  One thing that pisses me off more would be people who express that this is the best reality possible.

Bullshit.  And one of the most shitty side-effects of this is that it makes boy-men, on their way to Manhood, believe that smiling ear to ear all the time, like just suckled infant, is A-OK!  Real Men, on their purpose, buckle-down and get shit done, faces like stone, mouths like scars across their faces.

Let me get this through your skulls.  A smile is not a Manly expression.  If you don’t want to believe this, if you’d rather live in your sickly-sweet fairy-tale dream, then go ahead and let yourself practice being an infant.  Otherwise, read what comes next and try to understand.

Let’s begin by an important definition I introduced in an earlier post “Manhood is strength of purpose defying all challenge.”  A critical part of being a Man, then, is reacting not to the wind or the butterflies or bankruptcy or sickness or the women across the way telling you to lie down with her instead of put in a 24-hour workday to achieve your purpose.

But a smile is, more often than not, such a reaction, a surrender, to challenge.  A reaction to something in your environment.  Generally something temporary and trivial.  The sky, the grass, the sun in your hair, the pink butterflies flapping through gilded fields of sunflowers.  WHATEVER.  The rest of the time, it’s something you do to communicate that you’re safe, that you’re non-threatening and/or to release social tension that you don’t have the balls to contain inside yourself.

Smiles are, most often, reactions to situations which aren’t born of strength and Manhood.

Now don’t go off being morons and thinking you should never smile.  Smiles are weak, true, but there’s no rule that says everything you do needs to come from your Manhood.  There’s more to most Men’s lives than just their Manhood.  Happiness and smiles makes some people’s lives feel worth living.  There’s no rule that everything you do must encapsulate Strength.  But if you’re trying to grow into a Man, if you’re trying to JUST be a Man for the time it’s going to take to bring you there, or if you’re in a situation where Manhood is required, then that five-star smile of your is not going to help you communicate or grow in the way you need to and, in many cases, will communicate the opposite of Manhood, how reactive you are to challenges to your chosen, purposeful path.

Can you smile from a place of Manhood?  Well if you’re actually grasping what I write in this blog, and therefore read the definition above to get to its meaning, instead of just memorizing a useless catchphrase, then you can figure out the answer for yourself.  (Hint:  It’s Yes.)

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m going to explain the answer for you.  “Manhood is strength of purpose defying challenge.”  Clearly, you must ask whether a smile serve your purpose?  Is it a choice?  Does it help you defy challenge?

I’ve seen smiles like this.  All sharp teeth with a hungry glint in the eye, like a shark.  Or sweet with feigned meekness, perhaps pasted under sharp, laser-eyes, screaming at anyone with wit enough to understand that this pasty-faced smiling fool feigns weakness to manipulate others into following his purpose.  There are other types of smiles just like this.

Or simply the slow, rocky, smile of confidence and Strength, the kind that only a Man who knows he is far superior to all challenge has the extra Manhood to afford.  This latter smile, purpose-chosen or arising from a purpose-chosen mindset, can be destroy challenges and is only possible from a true Man.

Is this something that you can do?  Probably not.  While you’re on your way to growth in this area, don’t bother smiling too much, that will come later.  First, buckle down and, much of the time unsmiling…

Just Be a Man.

The Definition of MAN: What it Means to Be a Man.

So fucking sickening to me, manboys explaining the stupid things they’ve done in pathetic attempts to be real Men.  They brag, but they just don’t get it.  Manhood isn’t equal to sweating little details like walking, working and speaking like a Man.  I don’t write about them so you can equate Manhood to the tools to get you on the Path to Manhood.  Tools are not Manhood, they Are. Not. Manhood.  Don’t waste my time by trying to convince me of how far you’ve come, when you obviously haven’t yet even realized the meaning of the word Man.

We’re not judging a two minute horse race.  We’re not judging the explosive power of one round of ammunition.  We’re not awarding merits on passing one obstacle in the course.  We’re not even assessing those who finish an entire marathon, triathlon, Iron-Man.  The game of Man is greater than all this.  It doesn’t end in two minutes, in two hours, in a month, in a year.  It’s the game of a lifetime.  Your lifetime.  Except it’s not a game, not when everything else is.  It is YOU.

And you can’t be determined by the horse you ride.  The horse fails, it gets you part way, but maybe you half to walk the rest.  Maybe you drive a car.  Maybe you swim, skip, crawl on your bloody elbows and knees.  Maybe that happens.  So how you talk, that doesn’t make up your Manhood.  That’s a small choice, not a  Big choice.  These minor things are tools, or symptoms, but do not equal Manhood.

Tools can assist.  There’s no doubt about that.  They can help bring you to Manhood.  But, in the end, tools point or help move you towards the deeper strength, and it is that deeper strength that is Man.  I could go on an on and tell you what Men often are, and I will, I could tell you how they act, what they do, and on this blog I have, but that is not what constitutes the deeper essence of Manhood, not what it actually means to be a Man.

But it’s not hard to figure out.  It’s pretty clear, as a matter of fact, from all those challenges I mentioned earlier, from the race, from the explosive bullet, it’s clear from the obstacle course, it’s clear from the marathon winners, the triathlon, it’s clear from every Iron Man out there.

MANHOOD IS STRENGTH OF PURPOSE DEFYING ALL CHALLENGES.

I could add to that, put something next to it, qualify it, but it’s so important that I’m going to put it out there, and you’re going to accept it.

MANHOOD IS STRENGTH OF PURPOSE DEFYING ALL CHALLENGES

The Man runs a marathon against his own body.  The obstacle course is the essence of defying challenges.  The bullet punctures through the sound barrier, through armor and flesh and bone to it its purpose, the heart.  The triathlon has three definitive challenges, all tied onto one overarching purpose:  to reach the end.  He controls how he attacks his purpose.  The very name “Iron Man” is a celebration of the resilient metal of Manhood, defying challenge to its strength.  Strength of purpose in defiance of challenge; this is Manhood.

What, did you think it was something more complicated?  Why?  It’s not complicated.  But it’s also not easy, it’s hard, real hard.  Maybe you just don’t get it.  Maybe you’re putting the cart before the horse.  Maybe you’re looking at superficial image and pretending it’s deeper reality.  Maybe you’re looking at a game and pretending it’s real.

The tools you use to get to your purpose, to become purpose-driven, to become internally centered, these can be replaced with manure, if your purpose is strong enough.  I’m overstating the point, but not by much.  Even the Man with no legs crawling on his stumps, pulling himself along by his chin with his vocal cords removed, even he is a Man.  Especially him.  Do you remember that scene from the 007 flick Casino Royale, when James Bond was recovering from having his biological manhood physically bashed in repeatedly with a lead ball while he steadfastly refused to give up codes to a bank account?  His love interest, during his recovery, displayed unusual insight when she said…

If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you’d still be more of a Man than anyone I’ve ever known.

Do you look at a tank and say it’ll win the war?  Or do you look at the Man inside and say that, without him, not only would the tank be vulnerable, but it would have absolutely no purpose.  THAT is the distinction between being (1) an internally, purpose-driven Man, and (2) walking, talking, and acting like a Man.  The former is heart, is cause, is Man, the latter is variable bullshit that could change with the winds.  Most often, the latter is just the effect of the former.

You might have a thousand and one “effects” and a thousand and one reasons for them.  You might walk a particular way because of the length of your femur, the type of your shoes, the habits you picked up when you were three years old…  There may be many reasons, but if the strength of your fiery purpose drives you through challenges, then there are, really, only particular ways you know how to walk, talk, and act.  Walking is an effect.  Strong purpose defying challenge is the cause.  It’s what fills you with those Man hormones that pull you toward a way of moving, speaking, acting.  The same thing will go for everything in your life, from physical things to life choices to the way you treat people to the boundaries you draw for yourself.  And, in this way, your Manhood is broadcast to others, though, if you’re a Man, that doesn’t really matter.  Your purpose is internal and internally controlled, it’s fiery, it’s independent.  It does not vary with the whims or validation of others.

So don’t mistake the cause for the effect.  Don’t focus on symptomatic relief when a cure is what’s needed.  Don’t work on the strength of your limbs when it’s your heart that’s failing.  There’s a density, a stability, a core strength of purpose to a Man.  That’s why other things really aren’t that important to him.  Even the path to his purpose is variable.  He can let his actions flow naturally out of himself, out of his purpose, since the purpose will make sure that his actions, whether strict or loose, grandiose or humble, gregarious or private, that whatever his actions are, they will be marked by his Manhood.  The rest, he realizes, is bullshit.

Let me try to communicate this to you in a way you might get, if you’ve never had the experience before (which is close to impossible, so let’s say can’t remember it right now).  Think of a day of perfect, intense, inspired work.  Think of a day when you acted 100% according to your highest purposes, where you were inflamed by them and couldn’t stop for a second but at the same time were completely satisfied by what you were doing, because you knew in your heart that it was the very best thing you could be doing.  Then think of what you did after this long, exhausting, but oddly satisfying and enjoyable day.  Whether you sat back on the lazy-boy and watched TV, whether you went out and were social with a group of people, whether you caught a flick or painted or went to a street festival or stayed home and did your laundry.  Think about how your behavior in your “off time” contrasted with that on your “on time.”  Now, and here’s the rub, think of how doing those same “off time” things would feel if you’d spent the day eating chips in front of the couch.  Doing the same “off time” things is different when you’re doing them after rotting the whole day as a wuss vs. being filled with the fire of Man.  If you’ve done this exercise right, you’ll realize how incredibly different the same activities can be, when the context is acting on intense purpose in defiance of challenge.  If you’ve done this right, you’ll get exactly how meaningless little choices are to realized Manhood, whether it’s couch-surfing or getting drunk, once you’ve been “on your purpose.”  They’re everything in the moment, but looking back, they were only cogs in the larger machine of Manhood.  The factory is more than a collection of gears and conveyor belts, because it’s designed, it is purposeful.   It is this intensity, this strength, this focus that is Man, this above all.

MAN IS STRENGTH OF PURPOSE WHICH DEFIES ALL CHALLENGES

There’s a hell of a long way to go from here, to those desperately seeking Manhood.  Women have conscious purpose, don’t they?  How can that be if it’s a Man thing?  Aren’t there good conscious purposes and bad conscious purposes?  How do I fill myself with conscious purpose?  What does it mean to control your purpose?  What about those people that can’t?  What does it really mean to have “strength” of purpose?  There is a long way to go, but without Strength of Purpose, you might as well give up the race.

Yeah, there’s still a lot to write about.  Stay tuned.

Just Be a Man.

The Most Important Choice That Only YOU Make: To Be a Man

Let me make something damn clear for you.  To me, you are nothing, and to you, I should be nothing, your enemies should be nothing, and any obstacle whatsoever outside of the one and only obstacle that has ever caused you any difficulty in this life should mean less than the smallest nothing.  The only challenge you ever had was yourself.  That’s it.  Everything else is a lie.

Go ahead and think the guy who sneers at you at work is worth getting all uptight about.  Go ahead and think the bully who makes fun of you at school means squat to you.  Go ahead and pretend to the world, pretend to your friends, pretend to your family, pretend to the one who matters, yourself, that extraneous foreign entities can challenge your Manhood.  Go do that, and then come back fifty years later shivering with fear at the pretend-life you’ve made for yourself, and realize that the meaningless and countless beasts of the jungle have emasculated you.  You had a choice.  You always had a choice. I’ll say the same thing then that I do now.  You wasted your life growing, nurturing, cultivating that castrating plant of Fear for people who meant, at the end, nothing to your inner Man, who had no true control over your Manhood.

True Men, Real Men, are GREATER.  They’re not less.  Less than what?  Less than anything.  This truth is an inner one, and one they’ve chosen for themselves.  They recognize the truth of the inner Man and no one really shakes them, because no one else can have an effect on their Manhood.  Because people can’t affect their Manhood, they’re driven, single-minded, and rarely thrown off course.

“Oh, but my boss matters, he’ll fire me, that might hurt my Manhood.”

No.  Your boss can stop your paycheck, but he can’t demand that you become a wuss, that you do to yourself.

“Oh, but the bully beats me into a bloody pulp until I beg and cry and say uncle.”

He beats your face, he beats your body, he cuts your skin, he might even kick you in the balls, but your Manhood is something you sold out all on your own.

External factors make demands on you, there’s no denying that.  I’m not going to sit here and say that things outside of yourself don’t demand that you betray your inner Man to the horde.  I’m not going to lie, I’m not going to say that, for some of you every day, Life will demand from you your Manhood.  Sometimes through pain, sometimes through fear, sometimes even through love, but, and this is damn important…

It’s not Life’s choice to give up your Manhood, it’s YOURS.

It’s not the pain’s choice to cry uncle, it’s yours.   It’s not the fear’s choice to quiver like a scared doe in the corner, it’s yours.  It’s not love’s choice to turn into a sniveling wuss, it’s yours.  You can blame outside factors all you want, and sometimes I’ll understand.  I’m sure there’s some William Wallace, or hindu mystic, or CIA Agent who kept a straight face for days through torture, and then, at the end, skin peeled off, balls crushed between rocks, eyes poked out, face burned, at the end of the sessions of madness made the conscious choice to cry and whine and plead and beg for mercy.  I’m sure of it.  And I understand it.

But the choice still wasn’t up to the pain or loss.  The choice was still up to the Man.  And in the case of your cushy little life, absent physical torture or injections of emasculating drugs, in the absence of that, you have the upper hand, and if you give it up it’s you that’s doing it.

In the end, it’s yourself that is your only enemy.  In the end, you make that bloody choice.  Nobody else, you.  And so, in the end, it’s Your Own Self that must

Just Be a Man.

How Great Sex Equals a Great Life – Just Be a Man to Be Good At Both

It’s pretty shocking just how f@#$ing similar getting laid as a Man is to gaining success as a Man.  If you can’t see that, then perhaps you don’t know what the f@#% it means to be a Man.

Let’s look at leading.  In all but the most rarest circumstances, a Man has to lead a girl to his bed.  She’s not gonna jump on your dick.  She’s not gonna ask to sleep with you.  She’s not gonna put your hand on her waist.  You have to do it.  At the beginning, she probably won’t even talk that much, or not about the stuff you want.  It’s up to you to move her, emotionally, physically, verbally and logistically, where you want her.  Now this can be in the context of a marriage, where you propose on your knee and she says yes or no, or in the context of picking some random girl at a club, where you have to express your masculine personality and you have to take her to the dance floor to go dance.

You know this applies in the world of Men, in business, for example.  You have to make the moves, you have to be proactive, you have to adjust yourself to the environment as it changes.  The market will do what it wants, but it’s up to you to make sure your business is adaptable, prepared, and makes moves.  If you follow someone else’s lead, you’re not getting anything.  You’re not getting “any” either.

Let’s look at arousal.  If you’re not aroused, you’re not going to be inside a woman.  Soft men go nowhere.  Men who aren’t passionate and excited about the future go nowhere.  Men who don’t feel enough comfort and control with themselves won’t ever get hard enough to get inside.  Now forget about women and think about this paragraph as if I was talking about success in this world as a Man.  Arousal, excitement, passion, comfort, control, these are all characteristics of all the greatest Men who build empires, organizations and, to an extent, masterpieces.  These are the characteristics of the Men who not only brought home the bacon, but who were so successful at the “hunt” that they fed themselves, their families and their heirs for generations.

Let’s look at aggression.  You’re going to have a hard time finding a women who doesn’t want her Man to be aggressive, dominant, controlling in bed.  The same proactive aggression a Man brings to sex, will bring a Man to success in life.  Testosterone filled, you’ll be hard and strong enough to be aggressive in bed, testosterone filled, you’ll be hard and strong enough to reach out and take every opportunity you see, as a Man, in  your life.

What about fear?  Terrified loser teenagers have been known to have problems getting it up their first time, when they can’t believe they’ve even gotten a girl into their bed.  And in the world a Man needs to be greater than his fears to succeed .  A Man who is scared takes no risks, and most men who take no risks have to settle for the mediocrity in life, and usually mediocrity in terms of Manhood.

Think of the act of sex.  If you’re self-conscious, thinking, you won’t be able to keep going.  A Man doesn’t let his thoughts interfere, not in bed, not in life.  If he let’s his worries and thoughts interfere with action, he won’t have the strength he needs to support his goals, his plans, his “penetration” of Life.  Let’s talk Stamina.  The more a Man focuses on the moment at hand, in life and sex, the better the sex is, the longer he lasts.  The more he’s focused on the trivial end, the few moments of orgasm, the few hours of success he is going to feel when the deal is made, the worse and shorter his performance will be.

Arousal and Passion, Dominance, Aggressiveness, Leading, Stamina and the finish, where he gives, at last, the essence of who he is, an essence that has the potential to perpetuate himself for ever.  A new Man.  A business model.  An inspiring role model.  A shining example of Manhood.  It’s all the same, sex, Manhood, Life, to succeed at any of them you need to

Just Be a Man.

The Ugly Truth: Becoming a Man Isn’t Pretty, Ugliness Helps You Just Be a Man

You’re gonna hear a lot of politically correct fluffy bunny-rabbit bullshit about what it means to be a real Man.  Ignore it.  Especially when it it contradicts with what you feel in your Man Gut.  Newsflash:  Building yourself as a Man HURTS.  It’s not pretty.  Deal.

Sure there are plenty of real Men out there that didn’t get that way through pain and ugliness.  But that’s not something you can count on once you’re “all growns up.”  You want to know what you can count on?  That when you’re in the middle of the field with your team, that shouting and grunting like some rabid prehistoric beast will give you that last boost of energy you need to win.  That winning will move you towards Manhood.

That when you go through a grueling few weeks of old-school military bootcamp, that the blood and pain and sweat hardens you up, but that it comes at first with the price of resentment and anger and, yeah, guess what, hatred.

Not so damn pretty eh?  I bet you have many people, women and boy-men most of them, lining up to tell you how hatred is bad, that it won’t make you into the kind of Man you want to be.  Wrong.  That’s like saying that your entire life will reflect the situation of your birth:  bloody, wrinkled and ugly.  Connected like a parasite to your mother.

Nope, you cut the cord.  And the pain of birth faded away.  And the blood was cleaned off.  And guess what, I’m betting you’re not still so damn ugly.  But the fact is you needed that traumatic beginning.  It’s just a fact of life.

And the same thing goes for Manhood.  Yeah, uh huh, nobody’s gonna deny that there are better, or at least more evolved things in this world than hatred, pain, anger and violent aggression, but the fact is that the boost those things give, used in the right places, will toughen you up and energize you.  If you make them your end all and be all, they may ruin more things than just your Manhood, but the truth is that they’re tied into testosterone dopamine and all those crazy friggin’ hormones that make you the Man you are.  And if you access them right, you might just jump start your way to being a Man.

Now don’t go all crazy on me.  I’m not saying your should, unguided, throw yourself into viciousness.  I’ve written a shit ton of stuff on this blog just so that you won’t have to go unguided into the deep.  Chart your course.  There are times for one thing, and times for another, and use this blog as regular guidance to help you figure out what’s what.  But don’t listen to bullshit whiners who dream that this world is made of fluffy pink bunnies and angel dust.  It’s not.  It’s a brutal existence with painful truths and harsh realities.  It’s got it’s own beauty, but that’s tucked under bone and guts truth, and unless you recognize which truths you need to access, unless you know where to focus your energies despite what the idealistic, naive and inexperienced pansies tell you, you’ll never learn to

Just Be a Man.

Be a Man: It’s Who you ARE, Not What You DO

It’s not what you do, damnit, it’s who you are that makes you a Man.  This is easy to learn.

Men do lots of things.  Often the same things.  Play guys’ sports, drink beer, work with their hands, fight.  And sometimes, it’s the hormones and mindset that leads to these pursuits that also leads boys to Manhood.  But don’t make that stupid mistake, don’t mistake what Man does with who Man IS.

What Man does is an action.  Who Man IS controls how he does it.  Can a real Man knit?  Can a real Man play some wussy sport?  Can a real Man drink fruity margaritas and be afraid of fights?  Well, probably not the very last one, but the rest of it is fair game.  It’s unlikely, since he doesn’t have the same advantages that lead other Men to work with their hands, play sports, etc., (and those advantages sometimes make being a Man easier) but it’s still very possible.  A Man can be a Man and still do all those things.  On the other hand, if a beer-drinking handyman rugby player is just a boy, then he’ll do all those things as one, and still not be a Man.  Won’t make a difference what he does.

Because the heart of Manhood is who you are, not what you do.  What you do can come out in a million different ways.  If you play ping-pong or do curling with the mindset of Michael Jordan, then you’re acting like Man, despite them being called wuss sports by some.  Look at Tiger Woods and golf.  If you go home and cool down with a fruity margarita, but drink it like James Bond drinks his martinis, guess what, you’re being a Man.  If you decorate your living room with the single-minded purpose of a man choosing the animal head wall mount for his man-cave, you’ve just made interior decorating manly.  You make it manly, not the other way around.

But don’t be a moron.  You can’t keep doing all the wussy things you do and pretend you’re doing them as a Man.  Sure Michael Jordan could sit on his ass on a couch all day, and probably pull it off for a day like a Man, but the reason he’d do it for a day isn’t the same reason that you’d do it for a lifetime.  You can’t use this as an excuse to keep doing the stupid shit you’re doing.

And sometimes what you do has an indirect affect on your Manhood.  So sure you could spend the entire month doing nothing but yoga for exercise, and maybe manage not to look like a girl doing it (maybe), but the fact is that higher intensity workouts will kick up your testosterone, and that’ll help you be a Man.  Same deal with lots of things you could do, but maybe should think twice about.

So yeah, most things you can make manly, but on the way to Manhood there are many things you need to replace with things that give you a boost.  To pick right, to know what will help you and what will hurt you, you need to know what it means to be a Man.  You also need to know why you’re doing things, and make sure it’s not for the following reason:  You are a little boy.  If it’s not keep at it.  If it is, then drop that activity, replace it with something else, and

Just Be a Man.

Be Grateful You’re Not a Douche, Cultivate Gratitude For Your Strength, Take Responsibility

Gratitude strengthens.   Gratitude for your balls will grow them.  Doesn’t matter to who, God, your parents, your friends, whatever.

Thank you God, for making me the kind of Man who takes responsibility, and not the kind of little boy who blames others for his immense fuck-ups, his failures, his refusals and missed opportunities.  Thank you for helping me see how badly I messed up things that could have been great, how horrible a person I was to people I respect, how my selfishness is what hit me in the face that time, rather than the vicissitudes of random chance.

I know that an ego slips into my head sometimes, inflates, and gets in the sight-line between me and my flaws.  I know it’s easier for me to ignore it, than to see how the crushing weight of that ego-behemoth rolls over everything, rolls over the truth, rolls over the brute fact that I have some huge flaws, that I’m a human being.  Thanks for making me the kind of Man with the strength and energy to push aside my ego and gaze at the dirty truth behind it, which is Me.

And I’m not one of those blind fools, seeing and hearing no evil, and being dumb enough to think that I speak no evil, thanks for that.  Thanks for the humility that you’ve managed to invest me with, even the false humility, because something’s better than nothing.

And I know that my huge issues, my major errors, the bullshit that stands between me and greatness, I know you gave them fatal flaws, their flaw is that I can recognize them.  I know you also gave every challenge in my life a a weak spot, and that I only need to admit that things can be a challenge for me, now and again, to find those spots.

And thanks, God, that I while I might often have incredible arrogance, I’m not bratty enough to think that every enemy, every fake friend, every selfish partner is as enthralled with how great I am as I consistently am.  That I have enough self-perspective to hear through the empty compliments, traitorous snakes and empty human beings, to look at them and see my own reflection, like mirrors to help find and fix the glaring personal flaws that I have, and that it takes a real Man to admit.

Thanks, God, for pointing out that my life isn’t perfect, now and again, and for not making me one of those people who “front” to others, but to themselves most of all.  Thanks for making me feel responsible for my own bullshit.  It’s truly been a privilege.  I’m grateful for all that.  And responsibility and acceptance has freed me to move past all this shit, to

Just Be A Man