“Smile as much as possible,” they say, “life is beautiful!”
But few things piss me off as much as the moronic opinion, often expressed, that we should pretend we live in a monochromatic fairy-tale world where everything is pink and happiness and goodness. One thing that pisses me off more would be people who express that this is the best reality possible.
Bullshit. And one of the most shitty side-effects of this is that it makes boy-men, on their way to Manhood, believe that smiling ear to ear all the time, like just suckled infant, is A-OK! Real Men, on their purpose, buckle-down and get shit done, faces like stone, mouths like scars across their faces.
Let me get this through your skulls. A smile is not a Manly expression. If you don’t want to believe this, if you’d rather live in your sickly-sweet fairy-tale dream, then go ahead and let yourself practice being an infant. Otherwise, read what comes next and try to understand.
Let’s begin by an important definition I introduced in an earlier post “Manhood is strength of purpose defying all challenge.” A critical part of being a Man, then, is reacting not to the wind or the butterflies or bankruptcy or sickness or the women across the way telling you to lie down with her instead of put in a 24-hour workday to achieve your purpose.
But a smile is, more often than not, such a reaction, a surrender, to challenge. A reaction to something in your environment. Generally something temporary and trivial. The sky, the grass, the sun in your hair, the pink butterflies flapping through gilded fields of sunflowers. WHATEVER. The rest of the time, it’s something you do to communicate that you’re safe, that you’re non-threatening and/or to release social tension that you don’t have the balls to contain inside yourself.
Smiles are, most often, reactions to situations which aren’t born of strength and Manhood.
Now don’t go off being morons and thinking you should never smile. Smiles are weak, true, but there’s no rule that says everything you do needs to come from your Manhood. There’s more to most Men’s lives than just their Manhood. Happiness and smiles makes some people’s lives feel worth living. There’s no rule that everything you do must encapsulate Strength. But if you’re trying to grow into a Man, if you’re trying to JUST be a Man for the time it’s going to take to bring you there, or if you’re in a situation where Manhood is required, then that five-star smile of your is not going to help you communicate or grow in the way you need to and, in many cases, will communicate the opposite of Manhood, how reactive you are to challenges to your chosen, purposeful path.
Can you smile from a place of Manhood? Well if you’re actually grasping what I write in this blog, and therefore read the definition above to get to its meaning, instead of just memorizing a useless catchphrase, then you can figure out the answer for yourself. (Hint: It’s Yes.)
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m going to explain the answer for you. “Manhood is strength of purpose defying challenge.” Clearly, you must ask whether a smile serve your purpose? Is it a choice? Does it help you defy challenge?
I’ve seen smiles like this. All sharp teeth with a hungry glint in the eye, like a shark. Or sweet with feigned meekness, perhaps pasted under sharp, laser-eyes, screaming at anyone with wit enough to understand that this pasty-faced smiling fool feigns weakness to manipulate others into following his purpose. There are other types of smiles just like this.
Or simply the slow, rocky, smile of confidence and Strength, the kind that only a Man who knows he is far superior to all challenge has the extra Manhood to afford. This latter smile, purpose-chosen or arising from a purpose-chosen mindset, can be destroy challenges and is only possible from a true Man.
Is this something that you can do? Probably not. While you’re on your way to growth in this area, don’t bother smiling too much, that will come later. First, buckle down and, much of the time unsmiling…
Just Be a Man.