The Ugly Truth: Becoming a Man Isn’t Pretty, Ugliness Helps You Just Be a Man

You’re gonna hear a lot of politically correct fluffy bunny-rabbit bullshit about what it means to be a real Man.  Ignore it.  Especially when it it contradicts with what you feel in your Man Gut.  Newsflash:  Building yourself as a Man HURTS.  It’s not pretty.  Deal.

Sure there are plenty of real Men out there that didn’t get that way through pain and ugliness.  But that’s not something you can count on once you’re “all growns up.”  You want to know what you can count on?  That when you’re in the middle of the field with your team, that shouting and grunting like some rabid prehistoric beast will give you that last boost of energy you need to win.  That winning will move you towards Manhood.

That when you go through a grueling few weeks of old-school military bootcamp, that the blood and pain and sweat hardens you up, but that it comes at first with the price of resentment and anger and, yeah, guess what, hatred.

Not so damn pretty eh?  I bet you have many people, women and boy-men most of them, lining up to tell you how hatred is bad, that it won’t make you into the kind of Man you want to be.  Wrong.  That’s like saying that your entire life will reflect the situation of your birth:  bloody, wrinkled and ugly.  Connected like a parasite to your mother.

Nope, you cut the cord.  And the pain of birth faded away.  And the blood was cleaned off.  And guess what, I’m betting you’re not still so damn ugly.  But the fact is you needed that traumatic beginning.  It’s just a fact of life.

And the same thing goes for Manhood.  Yeah, uh huh, nobody’s gonna deny that there are better, or at least more evolved things in this world than hatred, pain, anger and violent aggression, but the fact is that the boost those things give, used in the right places, will toughen you up and energize you.  If you make them your end all and be all, they may ruin more things than just your Manhood, but the truth is that they’re tied into testosterone dopamine and all those crazy friggin’ hormones that make you the Man you are.  And if you access them right, you might just jump start your way to being a Man.

Now don’t go all crazy on me.  I’m not saying your should, unguided, throw yourself into viciousness.  I’ve written a shit ton of stuff on this blog just so that you won’t have to go unguided into the deep.  Chart your course.  There are times for one thing, and times for another, and use this blog as regular guidance to help you figure out what’s what.  But don’t listen to bullshit whiners who dream that this world is made of fluffy pink bunnies and angel dust.  It’s not.  It’s a brutal existence with painful truths and harsh realities.  It’s got it’s own beauty, but that’s tucked under bone and guts truth, and unless you recognize which truths you need to access, unless you know where to focus your energies despite what the idealistic, naive and inexperienced pansies tell you, you’ll never learn to

Just Be a Man.

Posted in Criticizing Kids, Guide to Manhood | Tagged | 3 Comments

Be a Man: It’s Who you ARE, Not What You DO

It’s not what you do, damnit, it’s who you are that makes you a Man.  This is easy to learn.

Men do lots of things.  Often the same things.  Play guys’ sports, drink beer, work with their hands, fight.  And sometimes, it’s the hormones and mindset that leads to these pursuits that also leads boys to Manhood.  But don’t make that stupid mistake, don’t mistake what Man does with who Man IS.

What Man does is an action.  Who Man IS controls how he does it.  Can a real Man knit?  Can a real Man play some wussy sport?  Can a real Man drink fruity margaritas and be afraid of fights?  Well, probably not the very last one, but the rest of it is fair game.  It’s unlikely, since he doesn’t have the same advantages that lead other Men to work with their hands, play sports, etc., (and those advantages sometimes make being a Man easier) but it’s still very possible.  A Man can be a Man and still do all those things.  On the other hand, if a beer-drinking handyman rugby player is just a boy, then he’ll do all those things as one, and still not be a Man.  Won’t make a difference what he does.

Because the heart of Manhood is who you are, not what you do.  What you do can come out in a million different ways.  If you play ping-pong or do curling with the mindset of Michael Jordan, then you’re acting like Man, despite them being called wuss sports by some.  Look at Tiger Woods and golf.  If you go home and cool down with a fruity margarita, but drink it like James Bond drinks his martinis, guess what, you’re being a Man.  If you decorate your living room with the single-minded purpose of a man choosing the animal head wall mount for his man-cave, you’ve just made interior decorating manly.  You make it manly, not the other way around.

But don’t be a moron.  You can’t keep doing all the wussy things you do and pretend you’re doing them as a Man.  Sure Michael Jordan could sit on his ass on a couch all day, and probably pull it off for a day like a Man, but the reason he’d do it for a day isn’t the same reason that you’d do it for a lifetime.  You can’t use this as an excuse to keep doing the stupid shit you’re doing.

And sometimes what you do has an indirect affect on your Manhood.  So sure you could spend the entire month doing nothing but yoga for exercise, and maybe manage not to look like a girl doing it (maybe), but the fact is that higher intensity workouts will kick up your testosterone, and that’ll help you be a Man.  Same deal with lots of things you could do, but maybe should think twice about.

So yeah, most things you can make manly, but on the way to Manhood there are many things you need to replace with things that give you a boost.  To pick right, to know what will help you and what will hurt you, you need to know what it means to be a Man.  You also need to know why you’re doing things, and make sure it’s not for the following reason:  You are a little boy.  If it’s not keep at it.  If it is, then drop that activity, replace it with something else, and

Just Be a Man.

Posted in Defining Manhood, Guide to Manhood | Tagged | Leave a comment

Be Grateful You’re Not a Douche, Cultivate Gratitude For Your Strength, Take Responsibility

Gratitude strengthens.   Gratitude for your balls will grow them.  Doesn’t matter to who, God, your parents, your friends, whatever.

Thank you God, for making me the kind of Man who takes responsibility, and not the kind of little boy who blames others for his immense fuck-ups, his failures, his refusals and missed opportunities.  Thank you for helping me see how badly I messed up things that could have been great, how horrible a person I was to people I respect, how my selfishness is what hit me in the face that time, rather than the vicissitudes of random chance.

I know that an ego slips into my head sometimes, inflates, and gets in the sight-line between me and my flaws.  I know it’s easier for me to ignore it, than to see how the crushing weight of that ego-behemoth rolls over everything, rolls over the truth, rolls over the brute fact that I have some huge flaws, that I’m a human being.  Thanks for making me the kind of Man with the strength and energy to push aside my ego and gaze at the dirty truth behind it, which is Me.

And I’m not one of those blind fools, seeing and hearing no evil, and being dumb enough to think that I speak no evil, thanks for that.  Thanks for the humility that you’ve managed to invest me with, even the false humility, because something’s better than nothing.

And I know that my huge issues, my major errors, the bullshit that stands between me and greatness, I know you gave them fatal flaws, their flaw is that I can recognize them.  I know you also gave every challenge in my life a a weak spot, and that I only need to admit that things can be a challenge for me, now and again, to find those spots.

And thanks, God, that I while I might often have incredible arrogance, I’m not bratty enough to think that every enemy, every fake friend, every selfish partner is as enthralled with how great I am as I consistently am.  That I have enough self-perspective to hear through the empty compliments, traitorous snakes and empty human beings, to look at them and see my own reflection, like mirrors to help find and fix the glaring personal flaws that I have, and that it takes a real Man to admit.

Thanks, God, for pointing out that my life isn’t perfect, now and again, and for not making me one of those people who “front” to others, but to themselves most of all.  Thanks for making me feel responsible for my own bullshit.  It’s truly been a privilege.  I’m grateful for all that.  And responsibility and acceptance has freed me to move past all this shit, to

Just Be A Man

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Be a Man: The Wrong Priorities Will Destroy Your Manhood

Do you know the difference between wuss priorities and a real Man’s priorities?  Letting go of your desires won’t make you a real Man and meditating on nothing all day won’t grow your balls.  You have to learn what priorities a Man has.

With due respect to meditation, to Buddha, to prayer, to that which trains your relaxation-response, to stuff that makes you feel like you’re part of something greater; don’t for one second think that living without desire, without ambition, without priorities will free you from the pain of weakness.

Running away from things that hurt you, like unfulfilled desire, is just another way to demonstrate what a wuss you truly are.  Real Men (the “real” is redundant, either you’re a Man or you’re a wuss, but I’ll use ‘real’ now and again) aren’t scared by unfulfilled desire.  They don’t skip out on joining a team because they’ll be picked last.  They don’t let go of their dreams because people will mock them.  They don’t give up on ambition because it comes with heartache.  If anything, the heartache inspires them (that’s a topic for another article).

But at the same time, the priorities that Men have just don’t cause the same pain as wuss priorities.  A wuss babbles and cries at the sight of disappointment and failure, true, but he often has more to cry about as well.  He digs the grave of his pathetic manhood even deeper and makes life even because of the specific priorities he chooses.  If you pick the wrong priorities, it’s like you’re shooting yourself in the foot before you begin a long hike…  In this case, it’s your hike to Manhood.

I remember, vividly, a boy talking to a group of Men, “I think I’ll have to lose my emotions when I grow up and get strong.”

Do you think he was right?  Do you, for one instant, think that as a Man you have less priorities, emotions, passion than a child?  If you think that, then you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the fire that burns inside true Men.  And you need to learn.

The answer to the boy’s comment came from one of the grizzled Elders:

“Being a Man doesn’t mean you have less emotions, being strong doesn’t mean you don’t feel, it just means you don’t have weak emotions.  As a Man, you’ll have lots of emotions, but they’ll be strong emotions, and you’ll rule them.”

The more strength, the better.  The more strong emotions, the better.  Don’t think that walling yourself off and not feeling is the strong thing to do, it’s just walling off the fuel from the engine.  The engine isn’t going to start…  You won’t go anywhere, if you don’t feel.

But now we get to the point of this article.  ‘What do you feel’ is the question.  What priorities should you have?  What priorities ruin you?  What priorities do real Men have?

The answer is clear if you know what a Man is and can take a critical look at your own priorities.  A Man is driven internally by the fire of his passion.  The environment has minimal effect on his internal world as he only allows himself to be governed by his burning desire.  So, most to all of your priorities need to be internal, because internal priorities depend only on your own strength for satisfaction, and not on some variable external factor.

Imagine your priorities as the ice axes you use to climb an icy cliff face.  Are you going to put your axe into a piece of unstable, crumbly snow or cracked ice?  Are you going to put your entire weight on it?  No, you’re going to plunge it into a piece of obsidian hard ice, something you can trust.  After that, your survival depends only on your own strength and skill.  The same thing applies in Life.

If your priority is, for example, how someone else feels about you, then good luck keeping a steady head.  You’ll be fighting not only your own self, but the randomness of their own appreciation for you.  If your priority is how the economy is going, then you’re completely at the mercy of the fluctuating Dow Jones.  If your priority is how much your kids smile at you, then God help you, since they’ll be smiling, crying, whining, and changing with every toy and dessert and bedtime and strange animal that wanders down the lane.

Imagine something different.  Imagine your priority wasn’t how someone else felt about you, but instead how you felt towards people.  Then acting like a Man would be enough to satisfy that priority, and you wouldn’t be at the mercy of other’s feelings.  Imagine that your priority wasn’t the economy, but how much effort you put in, every day, to account for the risk and invest in the rewards.  You’d have control of your priorities.  Imagine that, instead of how your kids felt in any moment, your priority was to be the best father you could be.  All of a sudden, you’re a better father, since you’re more stable.

Now whatever your priority is, external or internal, stable or fluctuating, there’s always the element of how you deal with it.  It’ll always be up to you at the end of the day.  Some Men are energized by a crisis in their priorities.  But you can’t run a marathon by training really hard for one day.  And even if you are a marathon runner, there’s no reason to run everywhere.  Save your energy, pick Manly priorities, be as steady as a rock, and

Just Be a Man.

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Real Men Work HARDER Instead of Resting Up

I’m sick.  Boo hoo.  My lymph nodes are swelled up like balloons and it feels like my throat is filled with jagged edged rocks.  So here’s a quick quiz.  Would it be the best time for a)  laying back with some chicken soup, b) staying in bed with broth, jello and a good book, or c) writing a blog post I’m not at all in the mood to write?

If you guessed (a) or (b), then congratulations…  You don’t have the balls it takes to succeed.  Not yet.  Sure it’s an ‘ok’ time to do those two, but ‘ok ‘ never wins MVP.  It’s these times you really have an opportunity to step up, to prove your “worth” against seriously obstacles, and that’s the only “worth” that means crap.

You follow your goals when things are normal, then good for you, you’re average.  You do that when times are tough, you can slog it out and excel during those times, go the extra mile, then you have elevated yourself from the “do it when it’s easy” crowd into the “success beyond expectations” crowd.

‘Easy’ won’t truly test you.  ‘Hard’ might burn you out after a while.  If times are hard, and you take them as hard, you might exhaust yourself.  The trick is, whether easy or hard, there is an element of choice.  Let me make this even clearer for you, you have a choice as to how to take things.  Sometimes that choice is 100% of how you feel, sometimes it’s only 5%, but either way the choice is there, and the more you realize it, focus on it, use it, the more of a choice you have.

There’s this brick wall that’s preventing you from reaching a mindset of Manhood.  The wall of “external factors.”  Your girl left you, you’re sick, you’re busy, you’re stupid, it’s a tough week, lots of deadlines, you’ll do it later, whatever…  This wall, your excuses, your refusal to take responsibility, your failure to choose how to take things, is the reason you don’t feel like a Man in any particular moment.  You’re walking down the hallway blaming your state on something other than you, obsessing about some condition in your life that has “held you back” from being a Man.

But you’ve never realize that the wall isn’t impenetrable.  As a matter of fact it’s more like a door, a really heavy solid stone door.  And it is, very slightly, ajar.  There’s a crack running down the entire length where it meets the wall.  That’s the crack created by your ability to choose your attitude at any given moment.  THAT’s your point of leverage.  Again, emphasizing this point:

You have the ability to choose your mindset at any given point in time.

When you decide to exercise that choice, it’s like shoving a crowbar in that crack and leaning on it.  But if you focus on other factors, external factors, it’s like throwing your shoulder against the door and trying to close it.  The crack will shrink to being almost imperceptible.

The point of this article is to clue you in to the fact that this huge stone door is ajar, and all it needs is the choice and some effort to get it moving, opening, to you let you walk through into the hallway of Manhood, of “real” Men (hint:  there’s no other kind of “Man,” with a capital “M,” other than a REAL one, so “real Man” is redundant, but I’ll use it for other reasons).

That’s the powerful commitment I referred to in an earlier article.  That’s the choice-element that you need to access.  The simple choice to feel positive, not negative, good, not bad, like a Man, not like a wuss.

Let me prove to you that you can access this powerful choice extremely easily.  First, sit down.  Second, identify whether you’re feeling more like a Man or more like a whiny boy.  Take a few moments to truly feel who you feel you are inside, and whether it’s more like a boy, or more like a Man.  Third…  You’re already done, you just have to realize it.  Because to even make that distinction, you had to realize what it means to be a Man.  To realize that, to test whether you felt like a Man, you had to have awareness of what it means to be a Man, recreate the feeling and test it against how you felt.

It’s waiting inside.  You know it is.  Now the next time you remember what it feels like to be a real Man, don’t do it as a test, do it just to feel the feeling.  Hold it inside, and keep on doing whatever you do.  At any moment in your life, you have the power to recall a feeling, not as a remote memory, but as a present experience.  To remember a feeling you must recreate it.  There’s no other way.  If you can’t completely recreate the feeling, you can’t completely remember it.  So if you can even remember Manhood enough to judge that you’re not feeling it right now, you’ve already recognized, even for a split second, that you have a Man, inside you, fighting to get out.  Just let it…

Just Be a Man.

Posted in Guide to Manhood | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Be a Man, Take Responsibility for Your Choices and Gain Strength From It

It’s disgusting.  I can barely tolerate boys who say this, but keep pretending to be Men.

Maybe there should be some sort of degree they need to earn, you know…  Before they’re allowed to grow balls.  I keep hearing the same utterly disgusting words… “It’s not my fault.  I don’t have a choice!

The worst part about this sort of garbage is that, by denying the existence of a choice, you strangle the life out of any level of choice you actually had.  And there is always a level of choice, but we’ll get to that.

These words “I don’t have a choice,” in their many incarnations, are amongst the weakest, if not the weakest, words in the English language.  But we hear them all the time.  On a constant basis.  From people who are ostensibly Men.  They walk around blaming their upbringing, blaming their genetics, blaming their boss, their girlfriend, their kids, the weather and whatever their pathetic minds can latch onto.  And where does this take them?  Not to the higher echelons of the elite, I’ll tell you that…

A Man takes responsibility for his actions and thoughts.  To whatever degree someone else tries to force you into something, at the end of the day it was your pathetic choices and your life that got you to this point.

So perhaps for the past months there has been insurmountable pressure to make a particularly bad choice…  But who got you into this job, this career, this industry?

Perhaps it was someone else who chose to treat you badly.  But who started letting people treat you a particular way, built a particular character that people responded to badly, put themselves in an environment where this sort of shit happened?

Perhaps you’ve just been dealt a bad hand and can’t help feeling it.  But who let his hormones get to the point they are now, who forgot to deal with that aspect of his growth and development, who chose to prioritize twinkies and television?

You goddamnit.  You.

Go far enough, there were choices you could have made to avoid this pathetic situation you’re in.  But this article wasn’t supposed to be a rant about taking responsibility.  I was going to spend just a few sentences on the fact that, when you take responsibility (even if you can blame others), that the act of taking responsibility expands whatever choice-making power you have and that this expansion is always better than the wuss’s alternative.  This article was supposed to be about one particular aspect of responsibility, one particular choice that you do have control over, that will change your life.  A choice that, if chosen consistently, will revolutionize not only the circumstances of your life but your own experience of them.

But to be brutally honest, after writing all this, right now, I’m feeling nothing but disdain for people who need to read this (most to all of us now and again), who wave their little packages around pretending to Men and pretendin they’re wearing leashes, leashes held by other, more responsible people.  I don’t know if you really deserve to know how to change the situation.

But that’s just a bullshit emotion on my part, thinking those losers deserve one thing or another.  Its not about “deserving.”  I don’t write for people who “deserve.”  I write to make things better.  I can and will help you with this, but not right now.  I think I’ll let you reread this, and let it all sink in first.

And perhaps let myself burn a little cooler, too…

Just Be a Man.

Posted in Defining Manhood, Guide to Manhood | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Learn How to Commit to Be a Man and the Dark Side of Commitment

You promised yourself that you’d be a Man, but that kind of promise isn’t worth the nothing it’s printed on.  If you want to be a Man, you need to get real.

This doesn’t mean committing to some great and wonderful labor.  Because, in the end, if you already had the habit, the inner strength to keep to a commitment, then Manhood isn’t something you’d have to commit to at all.  Because you would already have achieved it.

You’ve always known what the right decision was, what you should be doing.  Have you somehow, magically, become an overnight expert on how to emotionally arouse yourself, how to finally commit to acting with strength?  You’ve probably tried to commit to it before, too, so does your commitment now hold water.  Something you haven’t managed to do for your entire life?  If you can, go right ahead, matter of fact, it’s the other side of the coin and is necessary, but that’s not the dark side that I’m going to talk to you about today.  That’s the side for people with sufficient strength already.  What I’m going to talk to you about today is the last leg of the stool, without which it will fall.  This is the “leg” that you’ve ignored.

“I commit to doing a hundred push-ups a day.”  What a lousy commitment.  It’s a commitment to culmination without investment.  It’s a commitment to an outline rather than action.  It is, effectively, a wet dream.

It’s almost the same as saying “I did 100 push-ups, today,” (whether or not you’ve actually done them really doesn’t matter).  It’s a mindset of victory, a release of the tension of challenge.  But do you need that, even if you have been successful?  Is that safe, right now, for the growth of your Manhood?  Celebration is great but, if used improperly, it can be a drug that leads to hallucination.

Saying you’ve achieved something, or pre-committing to do something, they both come with a conceptual satisfaction of accomplishment, when the accomplishment is already over, not yet begun, but in either case entirely beyond the reach of this moment.  Like a guy dunking on a lowered basket, there’s no present challenge, no present stress, no increase of awareness and so… no benefit…  Saying “I commit to doing a hundred push-ups a day,” unless you already have sufficient male fortitude to keep your word, and one given to yourself and in private; this is mental masturbation.

Masturbation isn’t true “game.”  It involves a visualization without true effort, without going out there, without approaching the girl surrounded by all her jock friends, without seeing the last three guys get blown off, without having to disregard the fact that you’re dressed as a bum.  All masturbation leads to is an empty climax.

And most people make their commitments in this spirit.  They commit to the grandiose success of accomplishment.  It’s pretty futile.  What a waste of brainpower.  As soon as they come up against any obstacle whatsoever, let’s see what happens to the “commitments” of these boy-men.

I’m not talking about simply making a decision or plans for the future.  I’m talking about promises that you make to yourself.  More than an intellectual exercise, it’s an investment of your own integrity.  But it’s useless if done wrong.  That’s all you need to know about commitment for this particular article.  Some day I’ll write an article on what true commitment means (and how powerful it can be), but that’s not where I’m headed today.

Today I want you to learn what kinds of commitments can be made, and in particular a type of commitment which might truly help you to get through the dark times on your way to Manhood.  So you can suffer the sacrifices, the pitfalls, on your way to speaking louder, being proactive, being driven to a goal, facing your fears, all the little things on your way to Manhood.

“Doing 100 push-ups a day” is a commitment that skips to the end.  It doesn’t recognize the aching pecs you’ll have, probably for weeks, if you haven’t done this before.  It doesn’t recognize the time out of your day that it’s going to waste, that you’ll have almost nothing left for your usual daily leisure activities.  It doesn’t recognize that your shirt will stink every time you do it, or that you’ll wake up and be groggy and exhausted, or about to go to bed and almost dead, or in the office with your suit on, or around others who will laugh at what a physical wuss you appear to be.

That’s why I started saying “I’ll do 100 push-ups a day” is masturbation.  Not for everyone, but for you.  Have you done something like that without quitting?  Easy way to find out:  are you still doing it?  Commitments like the above account for the Manly result, without the sacrifice that goes into it.

If you commit to being a Man, to taking steps on the way to being a Man, then that kind of commitment won’t help you, not if you don’t commit to the difficulties as well.  To the effort.  To the sacrifices.

Sacrifices, now that’s a commitment worth making.  Not because it’ll guarantee success, that depends on a lot of other factors, not because it’ll guide you, a normal commitment to the result will do that, but because the process of thinking about the sacrifices to be made makes you aware of them and prepares you for them.  Because when I walk up in front of the room tomorrow and raise my voice like a Man, I’m not second-guessing myself wondering if everyone will think I’m being weird.  I’ve already thought about it.  I know they will.  And I’ve already accepted it.  I’ve already committed to that sacrifice.  Paradoxically, now that I’ve accepted it, I can go up there and actually forget about it, like a Man.  Eventually, as I grow in skills and as a Man, I’ll have enough evidence that it’s bullshit, that there will be no obstacles and I’m “the shit.”  And then I will truly rise up.

The process of committing to sacrifice puts you through sacrifice.  It makes you, in some small way, imagine what the sacrifice will be.  This is not about psyching you out.  It’s about accepting what is.  It removes surprises, it takes some of the “magic” and “mystery” away from what would otherwise be a shock to you, what might otherwise knock you off balance.  By preparing for emotional stress beforehand, you’re better able to handle it when you’re up in front of the world trying to make the game-winning basket.  It’s about making you indifferent, on your way to confident.

Commit to the sacrifice it takes to be a Man.  Ponder it, know what it entails, realize how hard it will be, and then commit to undergoing that difficultly.  Not the actions alone, but the desperate, painful, unprecedented sacrifices you’re going to make along the way.

Commit to sacrifice.  You’re going to be the guy your friends ridicule for being a try-hard.  You’ll be on the receiving end of a lot of laughter.  Perhaps you’ll lose your friends.  You’re going to be rejected.  You’re going to have only half an hour a day to relax.  You’re going to stink with sweat.  You’re going to have to give up your twinky dessert and focus on something other than your favorite foods.  You’re going to go through great physical pain.  You’re going to put yourself in physical danger.  You’re going to have to sacrifice family relationships.  Commit.  Commit.  Commit.

Then, after you’ve committed to sacrifice, you can be permitted to commit, to have the privilege of committing, to great, Manly tasks.  You can commit to speaking lounder.  To talking to strangers.  To public speaking.  To working out like a madman three times a week.  To climbing a mountain.  To facing whatever fears you have to to grow.  To doing whatever you need to do to be a Man (more on that on this blog later).

Again, and this is important.  You’re not psyching yourself out.  You’re not focusing on obstacles to move towards them.  But you’re accepting the sacrifices that you know will come.  Not their inevitability, they are either going to happen or not and your commitment won’t affect that, but you’re making a choice to be the kind of person who goes through that.  You’re letting yourself flinch now so in the future, in the moment, you don’t psyche yourself out, you don’t flinch, you’re spreading out the stress and choosing to feel it now, rather than in the crux of the moment.

We both know that there’s no “Just” in “Being a Man.”  If you’ve gone your whole life without it, then achieving Manhood might very well be one of the most difficult and desperate things you ever did.  Don’t psyche yourself out bud, and don’t let me do that to you, but there will be sacrifices.  But once you’ve committed to them, you can have the honour and the privilege of committing the labors themselves, and

Just Be a Man.

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