The Definition of MAN: What it Means to Be a Man.

So fucking sickening to me, manboys explaining the stupid things they’ve done in pathetic attempts to be real Men.  They brag, but they just don’t get it.  Manhood isn’t equal to sweating little details like walking, working and speaking like a Man.  I don’t write about them so you can equate Manhood to the tools to get you on the Path to Manhood.  Tools are not Manhood, they Are. Not. Manhood.  Don’t waste my time by trying to convince me of how far you’ve come, when you obviously haven’t yet even realized the meaning of the word Man.

We’re not judging a two minute horse race.  We’re not judging the explosive power of one round of ammunition.  We’re not awarding merits on passing one obstacle in the course.  We’re not even assessing those who finish an entire marathon, triathlon, Iron-Man.  The game of Man is greater than all this.  It doesn’t end in two minutes, in two hours, in a month, in a year.  It’s the game of a lifetime.  Your lifetime.  Except it’s not a game, not when everything else is.  It is YOU.

And you can’t be determined by the horse you ride.  The horse fails, it gets you part way, but maybe you half to walk the rest.  Maybe you drive a car.  Maybe you swim, skip, crawl on your bloody elbows and knees.  Maybe that happens.  So how you talk, that doesn’t make up your Manhood.  That’s a small choice, not a  Big choice.  These minor things are tools, or symptoms, but do not equal Manhood.

Tools can assist.  There’s no doubt about that.  They can help bring you to Manhood.  But, in the end, tools point or help move you towards the deeper strength, and it is that deeper strength that is Man.  I could go on an on and tell you what Men often are, and I will, I could tell you how they act, what they do, and on this blog I have, but that is not what constitutes the deeper essence of Manhood, not what it actually means to be a Man.

But it’s not hard to figure out.  It’s pretty clear, as a matter of fact, from all those challenges I mentioned earlier, from the race, from the explosive bullet, it’s clear from the obstacle course, it’s clear from the marathon winners, the triathlon, it’s clear from every Iron Man out there.


I could add to that, put something next to it, qualify it, but it’s so important that I’m going to put it out there, and you’re going to accept it.


The Man runs a marathon against his own body.  The obstacle course is the essence of defying challenges.  The bullet punctures through the sound barrier, through armor and flesh and bone to it its purpose, the heart.  The triathlon has three definitive challenges, all tied onto one overarching purpose:  to reach the end.  He controls how he attacks his purpose.  The very name “Iron Man” is a celebration of the resilient metal of Manhood, defying challenge to its strength.  Strength of purpose in defiance of challenge; this is Manhood.

What, did you think it was something more complicated?  Why?  It’s not complicated.  But it’s also not easy, it’s hard, real hard.  Maybe you just don’t get it.  Maybe you’re putting the cart before the horse.  Maybe you’re looking at superficial image and pretending it’s deeper reality.  Maybe you’re looking at a game and pretending it’s real.

The tools you use to get to your purpose, to become purpose-driven, to become internally centered, these can be replaced with manure, if your purpose is strong enough.  I’m overstating the point, but not by much.  Even the Man with no legs crawling on his stumps, pulling himself along by his chin with his vocal cords removed, even he is a Man.  Especially him.  Do you remember that scene from the 007 flick Casino Royale, when James Bond was recovering from having his biological manhood physically bashed in repeatedly with a lead ball while he steadfastly refused to give up codes to a bank account?  His love interest, during his recovery, displayed unusual insight when she said…

If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you’d still be more of a Man than anyone I’ve ever known.

Do you look at a tank and say it’ll win the war?  Or do you look at the Man inside and say that, without him, not only would the tank be vulnerable, but it would have absolutely no purpose.  THAT is the distinction between being (1) an internally, purpose-driven Man, and (2) walking, talking, and acting like a Man.  The former is heart, is cause, is Man, the latter is variable bullshit that could change with the winds.  Most often, the latter is just the effect of the former.

You might have a thousand and one “effects” and a thousand and one reasons for them.  You might walk a particular way because of the length of your femur, the type of your shoes, the habits you picked up when you were three years old…  There may be many reasons, but if the strength of your fiery purpose drives you through challenges, then there are, really, only particular ways you know how to walk, talk, and act.  Walking is an effect.  Strong purpose defying challenge is the cause.  It’s what fills you with those Man hormones that pull you toward a way of moving, speaking, acting.  The same thing will go for everything in your life, from physical things to life choices to the way you treat people to the boundaries you draw for yourself.  And, in this way, your Manhood is broadcast to others, though, if you’re a Man, that doesn’t really matter.  Your purpose is internal and internally controlled, it’s fiery, it’s independent.  It does not vary with the whims or validation of others.

So don’t mistake the cause for the effect.  Don’t focus on symptomatic relief when a cure is what’s needed.  Don’t work on the strength of your limbs when it’s your heart that’s failing.  There’s a density, a stability, a core strength of purpose to a Man.  That’s why other things really aren’t that important to him.  Even the path to his purpose is variable.  He can let his actions flow naturally out of himself, out of his purpose, since the purpose will make sure that his actions, whether strict or loose, grandiose or humble, gregarious or private, that whatever his actions are, they will be marked by his Manhood.  The rest, he realizes, is bullshit.

Let me try to communicate this to you in a way you might get, if you’ve never had the experience before (which is close to impossible, so let’s say can’t remember it right now).  Think of a day of perfect, intense, inspired work.  Think of a day when you acted 100% according to your highest purposes, where you were inflamed by them and couldn’t stop for a second but at the same time were completely satisfied by what you were doing, because you knew in your heart that it was the very best thing you could be doing.  Then think of what you did after this long, exhausting, but oddly satisfying and enjoyable day.  Whether you sat back on the lazy-boy and watched TV, whether you went out and were social with a group of people, whether you caught a flick or painted or went to a street festival or stayed home and did your laundry.  Think about how your behavior in your “off time” contrasted with that on your “on time.”  Now, and here’s the rub, think of how doing those same “off time” things would feel if you’d spent the day eating chips in front of the couch.  Doing the same “off time” things is different when you’re doing them after rotting the whole day as a wuss vs. being filled with the fire of Man.  If you’ve done this exercise right, you’ll realize how incredibly different the same activities can be, when the context is acting on intense purpose in defiance of challenge.  If you’ve done this right, you’ll get exactly how meaningless little choices are to realized Manhood, whether it’s couch-surfing or getting drunk, once you’ve been “on your purpose.”  They’re everything in the moment, but looking back, they were only cogs in the larger machine of Manhood.  The factory is more than a collection of gears and conveyor belts, because it’s designed, it is purposeful.   It is this intensity, this strength, this focus that is Man, this above all.


There’s a hell of a long way to go from here, to those desperately seeking Manhood.  Women have conscious purpose, don’t they?  How can that be if it’s a Man thing?  Aren’t there good conscious purposes and bad conscious purposes?  How do I fill myself with conscious purpose?  What does it mean to control your purpose?  What about those people that can’t?  What does it really mean to have “strength” of purpose?  There is a long way to go, but without Strength of Purpose, you might as well give up the race.

Yeah, there’s still a lot to write about.  Stay tuned.

Just Be a Man.

This entry was posted in Defining Manhood. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Definition of MAN: What it Means to Be a Man.

  1. krlzanchz says:

    great job man..keep it up..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s