Be a Man: It’s Who you ARE, Not What You DO

It’s not what you do, damnit, it’s who you are that makes you a Man.  This is easy to learn.

Men do lots of things.  Often the same things.  Play guys’ sports, drink beer, work with their hands, fight.  And sometimes, it’s the hormones and mindset that leads to these pursuits that also leads boys to Manhood.  But don’t make that stupid mistake, don’t mistake what Man does with who Man IS.

What Man does is an action.  Who Man IS controls how he does it.  Can a real Man knit?  Can a real Man play some wussy sport?  Can a real Man drink fruity margaritas and be afraid of fights?  Well, probably not the very last one, but the rest of it is fair game.  It’s unlikely, since he doesn’t have the same advantages that lead other Men to work with their hands, play sports, etc., (and those advantages sometimes make being a Man easier) but it’s still very possible.  A Man can be a Man and still do all those things.  On the other hand, if a beer-drinking handyman rugby player is just a boy, then he’ll do all those things as one, and still not be a Man.  Won’t make a difference what he does.

Because the heart of Manhood is who you are, not what you do.  What you do can come out in a million different ways.  If you play ping-pong or do curling with the mindset of Michael Jordan, then you’re acting like Man, despite them being called wuss sports by some.  Look at Tiger Woods and golf.  If you go home and cool down with a fruity margarita, but drink it like James Bond drinks his martinis, guess what, you’re being a Man.  If you decorate your living room with the single-minded purpose of a man choosing the animal head wall mount for his man-cave, you’ve just made interior decorating manly.  You make it manly, not the other way around.

But don’t be a moron.  You can’t keep doing all the wussy things you do and pretend you’re doing them as a Man.  Sure Michael Jordan could sit on his ass on a couch all day, and probably pull it off for a day like a Man, but the reason he’d do it for a day isn’t the same reason that you’d do it for a lifetime.  You can’t use this as an excuse to keep doing the stupid shit you’re doing.

And sometimes what you do has an indirect affect on your Manhood.  So sure you could spend the entire month doing nothing but yoga for exercise, and maybe manage not to look like a girl doing it (maybe), but the fact is that higher intensity workouts will kick up your testosterone, and that’ll help you be a Man.  Same deal with lots of things you could do, but maybe should think twice about.

So yeah, most things you can make manly, but on the way to Manhood there are many things you need to replace with things that give you a boost.  To pick right, to know what will help you and what will hurt you, you need to know what it means to be a Man.  You also need to know why you’re doing things, and make sure it’s not for the following reason:  You are a little boy.  If it’s not keep at it.  If it is, then drop that activity, replace it with something else, and

Just Be a Man.

This entry was posted in Defining Manhood, Guide to Manhood and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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