It’s disgusting. I can barely tolerate boys who say this, but keep pretending to be Men.
Maybe there should be some sort of degree they need to earn, you know… Before they’re allowed to grow balls. I keep hearing the same utterly disgusting words… “It’s not my fault. I don’t have a choice!“
The worst part about this sort of garbage is that, by denying the existence of a choice, you strangle the life out of any level of choice you actually had. And there is always a level of choice, but we’ll get to that.
These words “I don’t have a choice,” in their many incarnations, are amongst the weakest, if not the weakest, words in the English language. But we hear them all the time. On a constant basis. From people who are ostensibly Men. They walk around blaming their upbringing, blaming their genetics, blaming their boss, their girlfriend, their kids, the weather and whatever their pathetic minds can latch onto. And where does this take them? Not to the higher echelons of the elite, I’ll tell you that…
A Man takes responsibility for his actions and thoughts. To whatever degree someone else tries to force you into something, at the end of the day it was your pathetic choices and your life that got you to this point.
So perhaps for the past months there has been insurmountable pressure to make a particularly bad choice… But who got you into this job, this career, this industry?
Perhaps it was someone else who chose to treat you badly. But who started letting people treat you a particular way, built a particular character that people responded to badly, put themselves in an environment where this sort of shit happened?
Perhaps you’ve just been dealt a bad hand and can’t help feeling it. But who let his hormones get to the point they are now, who forgot to deal with that aspect of his growth and development, who chose to prioritize twinkies and television?
You goddamnit. You.
Go far enough, there were choices you could have made to avoid this pathetic situation you’re in. But this article wasn’t supposed to be a rant about taking responsibility. I was going to spend just a few sentences on the fact that, when you take responsibility (even if you can blame others), that the act of taking responsibility expands whatever choice-making power you have and that this expansion is always better than the wuss’s alternative. This article was supposed to be about one particular aspect of responsibility, one particular choice that you do have control over, that will change your life. A choice that, if chosen consistently, will revolutionize not only the circumstances of your life but your own experience of them.
But to be brutally honest, after writing all this, right now, I’m feeling nothing but disdain for people who need to read this (most to all of us now and again), who wave their little packages around pretending to Men and pretendin they’re wearing leashes, leashes held by other, more responsible people. I don’t know if you really deserve to know how to change the situation.
But that’s just a bullshit emotion on my part, thinking those losers deserve one thing or another. Its not about “deserving.” I don’t write for people who “deserve.” I write to make things better. I can and will help you with this, but not right now. I think I’ll let you reread this, and let it all sink in first.
And perhaps let myself burn a little cooler, too…
Just Be a Man.