I asked you to take risks, deepen your well of courage. But you didn’t, did you. You choked. And choked. And choked.
Congratulations, it takes you five attempts and the “perfect” moment every time you want to exercise your “courage-muscle.” It’s better than nothing, but the Man takes first opportunity. The aggressive kid takes the second. The kid takes the third. The shy kid takes the fourth. You took the fifth.
Congratulations, you’re “practicing” to be a shy little girl. Hope that works out for you.
Why did it take you so long? What stopped you? Why didn’t you do it the first time? Usually, it’s because you didn’t have the balls and so your mind frantically found some stupid excuse to help justify your emasculation. Well by even trying you’re doing something about your courage, that’s good, but perhaps we can can do something about that no good, lying, justifying little mind of yours.
It is, of course, just your mind being stupid. It doesn’t realize that we live in a different age. It’s your body trying to protect you from the consequences of stepping up in the cave-man world. It’s your mind trying to protect your ego by justifying the wussy choice you just made. To wait until perfection. So maybe we can do something about your weak little mind that bows to the wussy inside you.
Forget about perfection. Acknowledge that, on a rational level, that waiting for perfection is just an excuse. This is the hardest concept for me to beat into my acquaintances. They resist with excuse after excuse, when it’s clear what their choices are…
On the one side you have someone who takes the action of a Man. But because he does things when the situation isn’t “perfect,” he ends up screwing up a lot. But he learns to act under pressure. He learns to perform when things aren’t perfect. He gets more experience because he’s not sitting on his lazy fearful ass waiting for stuff to happen. He MAKES it happen.
On the other side you have the person who waits until things are perfect. He gets a fifth of the experience of the other guy, since he lets four opportunities pass before he takes one. But at least he gets a good one, right? WRONG. His measly little experience is limited to when things are “perfect.” Great, he probably would do well in a fairy-tale. But Life isn’t a fairy tale, shit happens. And so his perfect ideal experience goes down the drain when, in “Real Life” as in his “practice,” he chokes and chokes and chokes on inauspicious circumstance.
The best coaches know this rule like the back of your hand. If you don’t make your players practice under stress, then though they might have the physical skill down, they’ll choke when it comes to the real deal. Why do you think the military puts its soldiers through hellish basic training? It’s not ’cause they enjoy stressing the poor kids (ok, maybe a little), it’s because doing so makes them Men. Not Men in an ideal situation when your sergeant isn’t screaming spittle in your face, punching you the gut and making you stay up 48 hours in row, but Men when things are the worst.
Feed this truth to your wussy little mind. That if you make some stupid excuse for choking in not-so-ideal circumstances, that you’re not “practicing” for Manhood, you’re “practicing” for Wusshood. Stop practicing. Don’t be Perfect.
Just Be a Man.