Such an easy trap for you to fall into. Boys on their way to Manhood do it all the time. It means that your Manhood is fake. You’re the equivalent of a blow-up doll.
Ever had that annoying little boy or girl who tried to step up to you? To put you down. To insult, tease or verbally bully you? And ever responded by trying to “fight back?” Why? It’s pretty simple. It’s ‘cuz you think this little chump who really can’t hold a candle to you for some reason is a threat to you. So you’re implying that a few choice words from a kid can hurt you, great, you must be really special.
But it’s not always the kid. Sometimes it’s just the loser. You both could be physically mature adults. You might be on your way to Manhood, hanging out with Men, attracting women, building bridges, and then along comes Joe Blo and somehow something he does makes you respond as if he’s a real threat to you. All of a sudden you’ve put yoursef down, you’ve gone straight to his level. Probably even worse, because, while it’s his playing field, his terms, and he started his day by screwing you up, you started yours by reacting to HIM.
You’ve REACTED to him. In any situation, the person who is reacting more is lower on the totem pole, and if you’re a reactive person, then you’re not gonna be a Man. A man is pro-active, he acts from his own internal desire. Shit gets in the way? He brushes it off and pushes on. On heart. On guts alone. Because it MEANS something to him. Does this sound like someone who flinches when a bully tries to get to him? NO.
So there’s two things you need to know about this. First, there’s a point at which the silverback has to assert his dominance. There’s a certain point at which he has to compete. But it’s not for any piddly little threat. It’s for something dangerous, something meaningful, something that’s a true existential threat. The size of threat he reacts to is a demonstration, to himself and others, of the size of his balls, the true security provided by the strength of his character.
Second, the most common reaction of a real Man to a minor threat is not a consequence of him being REactive, but the consequence of him being PROactive. Actually, it’s not a reaction at all, it’s the end result of him being driven, balls first, towards his internal passion. If you’re driven, on your way to something big, doing something that you feel is important, letting your inner fire fuel you to your goals, then annoying losers along the way are just, well, roadkill…
Aggressively pursuing your positive vision fills you with testosterone. The same testosterone that increases your focus. A Man focusing barely registers bullshit. So the answer is not to put effort into avoiding irritating losers and kids, it’s barrelling towards your goals. Engines on Full. Big surprise there, the solution is to…
Just Be a Man