People constantly flinch, whine and mourn their own weaknesses and failures. How do they think they’re going to outgrow frailties when they spend so much time validating the importance of weakness by their obsession with it.
I’m talking about those poor decisions, fears and weaknesses inside of us that some people obsess about constantly, that they waste time regretting and whining about to me. Those sad little facts of character that they attribute so much importance to. I’m not doubting they exist, sure they do, we all got them in some measure or another, what is annoying is how much girly-men focus on them
Think of your character, your personality, as the crew of your own personal battleship. Every trait you have, every attribute, every feature of your psyche is a soldier in your army. Some are loyal, strong, trustworthy and some are mutinous trash. The thing is, you are, by name, the Captain of this ship. You set the direction, not them. They just execute. Doesn’t mean they’ll all obey, but it’s your job to provide the direction which will ensure that they do.
So what do you do if some of your little crew choose to mouth back, to get in your way, to seed dissent, to outright mutiny. The worst thing you can do is act like they’re important. To give them credit by spending too much time obsessing about them. You’ll validate their existence by your attention, focus and worry. You’re the Captain. They don’t deserve your sustained attention. You have a course to map, damnit.
“Oh, he’s important?” Your other loyal crew members will say, looking at this mutinous lowlife who has managed to capture your attention for such a long time. All of a sudden he doesn’t seem to be so much a lowlife, after all, he’s shaken up the management of the ship. All of a sudden, the guys who are supposed to be manning the riggings are watching the show as you waste time challenging this scoundrel. Don’t do this. Get your men to string him up by the heels, make him walk the plank, run him through, but don’t validate his existence. He is not this ship. YOU ARE.
So you f@#% up. So you have a weakness. It’s just one of your soliders trying to step up. He’s not the Captain, he’s just a deckhand, so don’t waste time thinking he’s the real enemy when there’s an enemy sub shooting torpedos up at you. Sure, spend a few moments getting the other deckmates to put the lash to his backside and throw him overboard, but don’t fall into his trap. Don’t make this about you and the weakness. The more time you spend scheming against him, the stronger he’ll become, the more of your crew will switch to his side.
The real story of an army is about the army against the enemy, not the Captain against a tiny bit player within. If that’s the case, it’s not much of an army, and not much of a Captain.
So be a Man. Recognize your weaknesses, deal with them swiftly, but recognize that obsessing is only going to prevent you from outgrowing them. You’re not going to lead anyone by lowering yourself to their level. The way to lead is not to focus on infighting, but to lead with an inspiring vision. That’ll bring everyone in line, and you won’t ever have to raise your whip-hand.
Just Be a Man.